Have you ever wondered why we have emotions? Why some peoples emotions are more extreme or less extreme than others? Or, how about why people show their emotions in different ways? Well i was thinking today, as usual, an I thought about these points. I know that emotions show how we feel about different things that we are feeling, and that without emotions this world an everyone would just be the same person to some degree. I love expressing my emotions. Hence why I love to writing on here. Emotions are a powerful thing though. Displayed in the wrong time, place, or with the wrong audience, emotions can turn into a very deadly, hurtful, or they can be misread. I personally like to share my emotions because I like to get others opinions to what i am feeling an thinking. Anyway, having emotions, whether it be good or bad, does make a person an individual. Some people share their emotions more freely than others. Some are a lot more private an no matter how much you try an pull out what they are feeling, it just wont happen.
If you sit back an watch a social networking site such as Facebook for instance you are able to read a lot of emotions that people are feeling. This would be a great study for someone with a lot of time to study an see how many different emotions a group of people an a single individual feel a day.
Have you thought about how music effects your emotions? This was just brought to my attention as I was writing this very blog. I was listening to my iTunes on shuffle an very up beat song came on an i found it very hard to concentrate on what i was trying to write. After clicking thru abut 5 songs i decided to just switch to a easy going artist. Cant go wrong with India Arie. But once i changed to some easy listening my mood an emotions has changed. Another factor was txt messages. I hate receiving txt while I am in the middle of writing. I lose my train of thought an must start another conversation.
But one of the main reasons I wrote this blog was to share with myself how i feel when people play with my emotions. I hate when people take me as an emotionally weak person. Yes i am sensitive, I do take things very seriously, an my feelings get hurt quiet a lot. But i would rather be sensitive than have no emotion at all. I have realized lately that people feel like they can tease me an dangle my emotions in the air an deal with them at their every whim. I hate expressing myself to someone when i am not sure what the response will be. For example when you tell someone how you feel an they beat around the bush not telling you their opinion back in return for days. Or for other people who think think that just because u are a nice person that you wont say no an get mad when you do. I am a very dominant person I would say an I am not afraid by any means. If i don't want to do something then I wont, so don't be surprised when i say no.
I feel at the moment a little in lala land because I dont want to over react but I want an answer. But when people feel like they have power over what you are wanting from them they take advantage of that. An someone whom you think you kinda knew, you second guess yourself an think that you really dont after all. What is a girl to do? How do you trust people but not get your feelings hurt. How do u let people in but not let them in too far? I know there is a balance but where an when does the balance affect me in my decisions.
What really throws this emotional journey for a loop is, is that there are 3 really great men in my life right not. All of which I wish an hope to keep in my life forever. All of which I want to date an all of which provided an offer something that I am looking for in a relationship. Unfortunately I want them in different orders but I want one more than I want all the others. One of them i feel the most comfortable with but he doesnt really want me. The second one is really nice but i dont know if he is mature enough for me. He is still tryna be a playa an i dont want to have to deal with that in a relationship bc i am a very jealous person. An the third man. Oh man, lol he is my most mature, entertaining one of them all. He makes me feel at ease when i am with him. He has something that the others do not posses. He is in the military. I wanted a military man before i met him. He is a chef in the army. I really like this man, but after talking an getting to know him, if i were in a long term relationship with him I feel like I would end up being by myself a lot because he would be over seas an moving a lot. I really like him an he posses everything that I look for in a man. He is smart, educated, mature, romantic, funny, an knows how to treat me. He is not the most attractive guy in my opinion but i dont want to be superficial. I really do like him. Today he asked me if I would be his girlfriend, an I told him no. I felt really bad. But my heart is still wanting another man. I want the one that I can not have or dont know if I can have. I dont want to let him hold my future in his hands but I dont want to move on before this has run its route. I dont know what to do. Then the second boy, he is not ready for a relationship but I am going to keep him as a friend a really good friend of mine actually. If this all ends up in the right way all of these men will be my friends in the end. I love them all an want to keep them all. But I can only have one.
How this all ties into each other is because I want the one person whom I really want an he knows whom he is, to tell me how he really feels about me. Not in a mean, degrading way, but to just have a heart to heart an explain to em how he feels. All games aside, just a way for me to know. I know I probably wont get this from him, but at least I asked.
So emotions as I started off, can change lives, (like mine) an they can also bring people closer together. This is one of life's many challenges for me, but I will overcome it! May have bumps an bruises an a hurt ego but I will learn from this as I already have an I think I have almost fixed the problem that I am in.
So as I finish think about your emotions an use them in the best way an not as a shield to tot he real you!
Toodle Doo!
No comments:
Post a Comment